Disgusting Baking Ingredients
by DivergentNephil
Summary: In which members of the Flock don't listen to Iggy and inhale disgusting yet good smelling baking supplies. Three shot
1. Cinnamon

**This is based on true events. **

**Don't own Maximum Ride or it's characters. If I did, there wouldn't be a freaking tsunami in Neve- never mind**.

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"Nudge? Do you want to help me bake?" the blind pyromaniac asked. He was in the kitchen and Nudge was residing on the coach in the adjoining living room.

"Sure!" she hopped off the coach and came over to Iggy, a bounce in her step. "I've never baked before. Or gone near a mixer. Do we get to use a mixer? Is it fun? I've always wanted to use a mixer!" she grinned."Why don't we have a mixer? Do you not like mixers?"

"To answer your questions, no, yes, too much money and yes."

Nudge processed it all. "why don't you like mixers it's cool that it does the mixing for you!"

"I like feeling the spoon in my hands and mixing the ingredients together myself." he shrugged. "mixing also builds muscles."

"Oh what are we making?" Nudge queried.

"Cocoa brownies with pure cocoa powder. he said. "can you read out the ingredients for me?"

"Sure." Nudge read them all out, the cocoa powder, cinnamon, milk, eggs etc. While Iggy got them all from the cupboard. Probably having to remember where each thing was.

"Never eat the cinnamon by itself," he warned.

"Okay Iggy." Nudge said. She made a mental note to try it anyways. Max and her ways were rubbing off on her.

After they did the mixing, Iggy teaching Nudge how, (Don't do what all those Tv shows do. Its not hold in one hand and widely stir just the outside. You go through the middle, switch grips, is not always in a circle,) and soon she was a pro.

When the delicious dessert was in the oven, Nudge quietly went over to the jar of cinnamon. She dipped a finger in and sniffed. It smelled so good and full of sweet goodness.

She went over to the drawers, not worrying about Iggy hearing her because Gazzy was playing loud Weird Al music from upstairs. She got out a spoon and tiptoed around Iggy and towards the jar. He caught her however and frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"putting the ingredients away." she lied.

"Oh, thanks!" he smiled. "it's hard to because you know, I'm blind."

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Nudge said sarcastically as she quietly dipped the spoon in, getting a large mound of cinnamon powder. She slipped it in her mouth and was about to silently moan in the great taste, when she started hacking it all up.

"Nudge?" Iggy asked, panicked.

"I'VE BEEN POISONED!"she screamed, coughing over and over like a dying person.

"Omigod Nudge, what did you just eat?" Iggy felt around the counter for any offending food.

While Nudge threw up in the sink and started babbling about how utter disgustingly awful throwing up was, Iggy noticed his hand brushed over an open jar. He continued feeling around the counter, coming across a spoon lying next rogue open jar. He bent down and sniffed the jar, grinning when he smelled the cinnamon.

"Nudge Nudge Nudge. Snacking on something?" he waved the jar around blindly. He could almost see her horrified look.

"That wasn't me." she denied.

"Sure.." Iggy trailed off.

"OKAY IT WAS ME! THE SMELL WAS JUST TO GOOD AND I HAD TO DIP MY FINGER IN AND-"

"Nudge! Is what you're talking about appropriate?" Max came down the stairs.

"Huh?"Nudge was confused.

Iggy started laughing and Nudge knew then that she had probably just said something perverted. Whoops.

"I was just telling Iggy my excuse for eating cinnamon."

"Cinnamon? That great smelling stuff! Let me try!" max grabbed the spoon off the table and before Nudge or Igygy could stop her, dunked the spoon in the jar and into her mouth.

"$?!*!"

Iggy and Nudge just laughed.

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	2. Vanilla Extract

**Have decided to do another chapter, seeing as baking supplies is usually delicious smelling ingredients that taste vile and disgusting and make you want to spew your guts out.**

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Welcome to Fang's Blog!

You are visitor 134

Yo, it's Fang.

Have any of you heard of vanilla extract? Have you tasted it? Because I sure have.

We were at Dr. M's and her pantry was full of baking stuff. She had to go to work so she left us with clear instructions: clean out stuff we don't need. Or more specifically, what Iggy didn't need.

Iggy could have done it himself, but he thinks it's easier to sit on the couch while us non blind people read out the labels and he'll tell us if he needs it or not.

"Baking soda." Nudge wrinkled her nose.

"Keep." Iggy said.

"Isn't soda a drink? Why would you put it in baking? sprite flavored cookies? That's disgusting! Or like, fanta flavored brownies? Double yuck! Wait, is soda pop because muphm-"

Gazzy covered her mouth. "Igster? What about cinnamon?"

Nudge and Iggy snickered while Max pouted for some weird reason.

"You can trash that, it's old." Iggy pointed to the trash. An. Or he tried, he ended up pointing towards fridge. But Gazzy got the idea.

Now guys, this is where I come in.

"What about Vanilla Extract?" Max asked.

"Keep. It's brand new and that stuff is expensive." Iggy rolled his eyes like he couldn't believe vanilla could be so costly.

"Vanilla?" I asked. Boy, I loved the smell of vanilla. It all started when Nudge sprayed on some vanilla perfume on Max and when we made o- kissed each other on the cheek, the smell was so sweet.

"Yeah. But don't try it." Iggy warned. "It's-"

I unscrewed the bottle and practically inhaled the stuff. Okay that wasn't smart, but I was sick and had recently taken cough syrup and I was a little loony.

"NO!" Iggy ran up to me and blindly swiped for the bottle. "That stuff is freaking expensive!"

I started gagging. Man, that stuff was vile! "Water! Wa-wat-water!"

"Fang?!" Max ran to the sink and started filling a cup with water. "What happened?!"

Angel started holding her head and moaning. "I can taste the vanilla from reading Fang's mind! THAT STUFF IS TERRIBLE!"

Iggy started laughing uncontrollably. Nudge just rolled her eyes and muttered; "not again." but I barely registered it. All I was focused on was the cup of water Max shoved into my hand.

I gulped it down as the taste slowly disappeared.

"It's vanilla _extract_!" Iggy chuckled.

"Do you put that in your baking?!" I asked horrified.

"Well, yeah! It gives it a nice smell!" Iggy sighed. "Such a nice smell."

"Huh? What's wrong with it?" Max was confused.

"It tastes disgusting." Iggy said.

"Oh."

Max put a hand on my shoulder. "What have we learned today Fang?"

"Listen to Iggy." I said.

"Not that extreme. Just don't drink any vanilla extract. If you listened to Iggy, you'd probably end up dead."

With that last happy quote, just remember kiddies, don't drink vanilla extract.

Fly on,

Fang

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Comments:

Fang_is-Mine_Redhead- I still love you Fangy!

Max_Ride- Back off red head, he's mine.

Pyro_Ig- *Sigh. Your fault.

Dragonpurple_pearl- Wow, that sounds like something I'd do.

Pearl- Maybe because you did and this story is based on that.

Captain_Teror- Huh? Who are you? And great job Fang.

Fang_Ride- That was sarcasm wasn't it.

Max_Ride- Why is you last name Ride?

Fang_Ride- No reason.

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**Review review review!**


	3. Bakers Chocolate

**Ta da! Chapter three! Not very gross, but twhatever. Though, it's a part of nature… who am I kidding, IT'S THE WORST THING A GIRL CAN GO THROUGH**

**Baker's chocolate.**

**Max POV**

"Darn it!" I stared at my um, underwear. It was my time. No, not my time as in I'm going to die. My time of the month. I bent over in pain as a cramp appeared.

"Max? You okay?" Angel's sweet voice came from the other side of the door. I quickly blocked my thoughts. I didn't want Angel to know about this stuff yet. I hated to admit it, but it would mean she was growing up.

I heard her sigh, "All I can get from your mind is that you want chocolate." She stated. Crap, the cravings. But the cramps were just too much, I couldn't take it. Me, Maximum Ride, fell down on and whimpered. Yes, I can withstand black eyes, broken noses, broken anything's, yet cramps get me. All the time.

"Angel?" Can you get me some chocolate?" I opened my mind a little so she could feel my pain.

"Sure Maxi." I could practically feel her grin. I got up and unlocked the door and crawled out into my room, where I found Fang.

He was on my bed, and got up with a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay? You're crawling…"

"Gee, thanks Captain Obvious, didn't know that." I grunted. Ow ow owowowow! Now it was on both sides. Fang's face whitened and he scooped me up.

"What did you eat? Rocks?"

"Why, your head missing some?" Yes, overused, but satisfying to say.

He just chuckled and dumped me on the bed.

Suddenly Angel came in, her hands full of chocolate.

She handed some to me, and some to Fang. She smiled and said, "Here, hope your cramps get better."

"Thanks Ange." I stared longingly at the chocolate in my hands.

Before the taste actually set in, I herad Angel say, "Iggy warned me they were bad, but chocolate is chocolate right?"

Fang and I both spit out the vile thing.

**Previously. Angel POV**

I hurried down the stairs. Max's thoughts were full of pain and from what I gathered, it was from cramps. I scurried into the pantry and didn't see any darn chocolate.

"Fishsticks." I mumbled.

"Angel? What are you looking for?" Iggy said. I yelped as I saw him behind me.

"Looking for chocolate." I answered. I continued looking. "Max needs chocolate."

"For what?" He asked.

I turned around. "Eating…" I said slowly.

"We only have this chocolate," he held up some blocks of dark, dark chocolate. I brightened.

"THANKS IGGY!" I squealed and took them. As I ran up the stairs, I heard Iggy call, "They don't taste good Angel!"

I looked down at the package they had come with. "_Unsweetened dark chocolate. Bakers Chocolate." _I shrugged, chocolate was chocolate right?

**Like if you've fallen for Bakers Unsweetened yet delicious looking chocolate?**


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